That Face of An Angel Comes Out Just When You Need It To

Current Song: White Horses by Taylor Swift/Stephen Jerzak

I just had a backtracking revelation (why didn't I just say flashback?) of basically everything that meant something to me in the total days of yesteryear from this date. (that sounds much more complicated than it should, I know I can't talk properly.) I can't believe that I was probably the most naive person anyone's ever known. I pretty much granted everyone permission to step on me and overtake full charge of my every move. I always felt as if I was the one who was independent and an achiever, but "I never really had a chance." (ha-ha this song is saying everything I wanted to say when I think it.) I created illusions and perceptions that were far from the truth, unrealistic, and too far-fetched to ever be lived up to by the people that I associated them with. I can't believe that I willingly entrusted these people with a certain direction of my life that I wanted them to fill, when it was obvious that they would never be able to step up to the plate and leave their own selfish circles and live for me. I'm finished with your excessive and spooky presence in this substantially unstable setting.

All of these repressing dreams and memories only enforce a more graceful and grateful self for the exceedingly passionate affair at which I so happily own. (and I just had a flash of Wonderful saying that he owns me, and I actually don't remember if it was real or not?)