Perhaps Perhaps Perhaps?

I just looked back on my blogs, and I lied. I full fledged lied. I didn't meet anyone on the next entry in 30 mins. I did not even write the draft I wanted to say. But I clearly remember what I wanted to say. So here it is:

What happened that night? Some sort of clear air in my head, a tingling feeling in my legs, a stench clogged in my nose. It could only mean one thing; but I won't say it. I mean, I don't feel damage. Actually yes I tend to later on. What am I doing? Who am I talking to? Who does this effect? What is the cause? Am I really getting any kicks out of this? Well I can create various answers for all of these questions and more. But bottom line is- there is no bottom line. I know exactly what I'm doing. It's not really effecting anyone right now, no one's telling me to stop, and if people did...well I know I would cut down. Some days, actually more like months ago, I used to just do it to see how far people would let me go before telling me to stop. I constantly create tests for people to show me how much they care. I don't think that many people get them though. I know I think opposite of- whatever this is off topic.
The altitudes are exciting. My memory is defected. My senses are enhanced. The footprints of danger are at my every step. Actually you know what? My only problem with this whole issue is my memory. I remember everything that happens, good and bad. But I feel like I'm losing out on simple concepts that occur shortly after or before. My memory is damaged. These are things that I need to hold onto. Useless or not, they appear for some reason right?

Yea it's embarrassing.