Edward couldn't hold hands either

The morning city traveler was unable to get fully ready for the day. She brought her curling iron to her destination. Curling away was her way of getting away. But he insisted that she'd take a break. Lying down ruined her curls. It was all out of her favour.

Mathematics is a Difficult Thing

She laboured out of love. He rangeled entertainment from a screen. He must've witnessed her one motivation when he plopped himself on the couch and told her to take a break with him. He had other motives. Back then they thought it was love.

Kit-Kat

They sat on a log, breathing into a common pleasure that brought them together. They sat on a log, speaking in ridiculous dialogue that would only make sense for that very moment. She couldn't open up, she was too shy. He told her he had a gift, reached into his bag, and told her she needed to take a break. The most genuine break she's ever had.

Things come up too late

While we can

I have an imaginary day planned out for us. A cross between the extremes of my taste and yours. We can share it together in a sugar coated day for you and I. I like to think that we still live it out for each other.

went back to my notebook and i found...

"i write romantic things to remind you of what we have..."

The Climb is my motivation ha-ha

I'm going to do something different. I know I can.

In jeopardy

"To think of an abrupt ending made me so utterly frantic and left me with an empty feeling. Inside I was having a panic attack."

You carry the biggest heart filled with limitless aspirations of kindness and good ol' tender care. Why can't I know more people like you? Why can't the world be like you? Why can't you be around all the time? It's always storytime, then perspectives, followed by your advice, my tiny sound effect comments, then our polite exchange in thanking each other for being who we are, and you establish your faith in me everytime. Our conversations have develeopled over the year from getting to know each other, bad habits, wishes and wonders, the things that overpower our lives, and now the things that we must always keep in mind. Your every word makes me smile. I'm sad that the secret picture never got developed. I'll always remember what it looked like though.

"even if somethings feel bad and all seems lost with whatver, look into yourself, unsweeted, unsoured truth and give yourself an honest untainted opinion"

Saturday's "sleep" & grilled cheese

I feel poisoned. Your soft appeal does not match your lusty glare. Tricked by an innocent rabbit. I should know better. It's funny. It's gross. It's despicable. I've lost my trust and it makes me laugh. A faulty match. Don't feed me compliments that I don't want. Don't text me stupid questions and plans that don't need to be made. Don't call me nicknames thinking that I like it. Your strategy is corrupt and a path to zero success. I won't even applaud you for trying. There's no accomplishment in planting one on a girl who's been around.

A thought close to home

I never got to write this post, but I always had it in mind.

In a place by ourselves, I feel like we live together. It's a silly thought, but it all feels real. Our only friends are ourselves. We feed each other with the little food that we can afford. We sleep in one small bed that just fits the two of us. You stand to look at yourself in the mirror and I stand beside you. We have pets to look after. You look old anyways, and I can act and dress as mature as I want. It's funny to think that we've housed ourselves in the houses of our parents. Once again we've proven to be the funny looking romance. I dig it.

Anyone can be a victim

Mooching is bad.
Mooching is bad.
Mooching is bad.
Mooching is bad.
Mooching is bad.
Mooching is bad.

"I thought I told ya"

And he watches the sun
But he's the only one I have my eyes on

I guess we fuck it then

She knows how to reel them in. But she can never stop before the danger comes. She cares too much. But it's always caused her biggest falls. She's planned out her every words. But it's only after the moments passed. I'd say that; it's such a shame to watch her.

I still wish that life was like Living on the Edge.

- who knows how long, how long, she can go before she burns away?

Whitehorse, Second Verse

I have a tiny thump in my heart telling me to apologize. But I can't, and I love too much. This big heart is easily ignored. I don't want to be so ruthless. These schemes are poisonous. But you hurt me. You really really really did. I never believed you, but I tried to. I tried.

Pirate skulls and bones

New York City? We must hide from the audience. She's always buzzing just like neon neon neon neon. GIANT SPIDERS! A bug flew into my hair, but my tiny knight in shining armour fixed that for me. Pokey stick. UNresourceful and retarded. Value Village! We could've, should've, would've taken a bubble bath together...but the family might think I'm a lesbian. Deodorizing in public. U DA BES I EVA HAD. I was backstage with Hilary. And then he...Bottles in dishwashers. "This tastes bitter?" Unaccomplished bike missions. Pumping air into tires like men. Nah it ain't. Yuh it is. Sticks and stones and WEEEED and bones. Lips that touch liquor shall not touch mine. Why are they in New York? Justin and Tim? She took the midnight train goin' anywhere. The baby's asleep. Where's Armie?! You're sitting on my gum!!! She's teh blackest girl on this bus. Chips chips chips. Tank tops and underwear. You make up the most scandalous plans. Did you guys say something about Matthew? Why do you guys always bother me when I'm trying to sleep?! Old videos. DailyBooths. I love stupid! That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it.

FuckYeaBestFriends

And it's the first time she ever spilled her soul to me

"See what I want so much, should never hurt this bad
Never did this before, thats what the virgin said
We've been generally warned, thats what the surgeon says
God talk to me now this is an emergency"

This used to be one of my favourite places. I'm more than sad to say it's not anymore. No amount of pillows can take up your space. No other person can cuddle the world away, even if they'd say so. N-no one can enter the same dome of love and passion. I'm not taking any of this down very well. Even with the excessive amount of advice, moles, girl's day out, gifts, sun, other people...I miss that day when we met after my trip and we just laid in the park. The simple days were my favourite ones. And I can't breathe. I feel weak. I have no words. I'm not inspired. I've never hurt this bad.

Believe me

you were on my mind at least nine-tenths of yesterday. :)
FuckYeaHappy + Julia Alicandro + our old txts have brought me back to the light.

So my heart keeps leapin' on

"I saw your freckles on the shoulders of a stranger today
And my heart lept, and my heart lept"

I'm here at a very big hole, but I'm at peace. I do not know what my next pawn move will be. But I know what I want, and I'll risk saying that perhaps it's what I need. Whether I can keep it or not will not be my option, it's sad but it's just the harsh reality I'm facing because of you. But you can still make me smile and wish and wonder.

I wish I found this before before...

...now it's like a surrender.

All in a British accent for effect

Where is this gonna leave me? Well I've noticed that my writing is no longer as beautiful as it used to be. My fault or yours? I feel inadequate. But look at all the wonder and all the effort I tried to put into all of this. I hate math. You didn't take into consideration her feelings then, but now you're just not taking in mine. I walk ahead because I feel alone, and when I looked backed, you still were at your own pace. I clasped my own hands cause you wouldn't. Why don't you just say something instead of making me guess all the time. All I ever wanted was to make you smile and in return I'd feel love.

I knew it. I know it. I knew it from the start.

I love the word euphoria

I just found this in my drawer? I'm sure sure sure that I copied this down in gr 7 or 8. Hence the lame last line. Oh liiiife.

it doesn't happen very often
so it was glorious to be in love
(even if, it was unrequited).
the exhilartion,
the feeling of euphoria and hope
was worth the pain.