Just a few tings

I'll always remember Tuesdy nights whenever I listen to soft rock and Sugar Ray.

My Tumlr is just messy white girls doing the dumb tings that I do, I need more token other races.

Cute, Irrelevant x1.5, Weird, Extra. That's how I progressed over the years.

I don't have a good relationship with my cat anymore.

Going ape with arts and crafts is the best way to spend a few hours.

Tea is goose.

I forgot (but still practice) the big pre-everything rule.

Things get done if I'm not burntout.

I'm so afraid of whales.

It's easier to relate to old songs.

Did you feel a bit weird? I kinda did. But I HAVE to ignore.

Heal already so that we can laugh seated around a booth munchin' and all.

Sorry but you cheesed me and I don't think I'll give in.

New routine to read that paragraph everyday to ice me.

Hellogoodbye styllaz.

For people like you

Today I did things that made me feel accomplished, like I knew everything all over again. But just out of the blue, just out of the frikkin' blue. I'm scared that things will always be a cycle. My hands look older now, don't you understand?

Homesick

I woke up this morning to no one in the house. I felt like that 4 year old girl that used to have fits when she'd wake up on Saturday mornings beside an abandoned pillow. I heard my brother come in a bit after an hour, we communicated by raising our voices to converse from upstairs and down. I left for 11 hours. I ran to my house to see all the lights off. I feel guilty for not being around.

I feel like a newborn child

I'm playing funny cutesie pop rock love songs at 2:20AM because they remind me of what it's like to be happy with everything that one can have and the perfection that we can find in our lives. I do remember alot of the shit all we did at Sheppard Station. I do remember the grip and scents that came along with every hello and goodbye hug to the great friends that multiplied everyday. I remember feeling like I was "in like" and being liked in return. It was sweet being 14. That was so long ago.

---everytime I get a chance to see you smile.

Happy Days

Rowdy mornings are funny mornings that make me smile miles and give me laughter abs. Life is fun when sleds feel like rollercoaster carts. I like meeting a new person every other hour. Dun goofin' is normal and comical as heck. The banks won't think it strange that we deposit small amounts of bills every other day at wee hours. Sun roofs make the world go round. Illegal air is our only air. Tangled hair and I don't even care. But we should be careful. Hopping into trunks in public isn't normal for everyone. But I wish doing shit all was like a way of life.

48 years

Reconstruction or construction is ruining everything that I have known. Every green patch that I used to know displays another condo. I passed by yellow trucks tearing down my childhood daycare. I wanted to send my children there. Renovations on one lot cover what I once used for long jump. And my hefty beloved and dreaded card store is gonna shut down and be divided into two narrow everything for $500 and up stores. I can't believe that they shortened us to this Sunday. I wish people could petition against us closing. I always believed that construction in a memorable spot meant that nothing will be the same and people would disappear. It is sad.

LOL :)

How do you do it? Make these dry and cold palms sweat like I've been gripping tightly to your own. Flush my face red and pink minuets after you've flashed that sweet smile while I turn around and go. And did you also know that I like your thin lips against your beaver teeth? But I hope you're not just a tease or a little charmer. Sometimes my stomach twists and my heart feels like a tonbut I know it's just the violent butterflies that ache for some attention.

The body breaks

I do things slower now. Perhaps my brain cells can't take my oxygen. Everything makes me body tired and my heel just got a bruise from wearing my boot! My nails are cracking all the time but I guess it is too cold and I did lower my calcium. I always forget what I was doing. I used to never walk so slow, but maybe all my boots are just heavy. Every morning I wake up with a sore neck and aching feets. And lately I've been getting hedaches, but then again, I always walk out of the house with wet hair.

Homepagers tells me that Monday will be good. I wanna do something half different.

Yo it's 2am

Do you remember the first conversation you ever had with the person you currently have feelings for?

.........

Think of the last person you kissed, when was the first time you ever talked to them on the phone?

never!

Do you dread certain days of the week? If yes, what days and Why?

I'd say Fridays because I work sometimes or I never know the plans. Or Saturdays cause I'm def working then I get out early but too exhausted to do much.

If you're home alone, do you still close/lock the door when you use the bathroom?

Usually just have the door open and my cat comes to stare at me pee. It's kinda cute.

Do you ever give money to homeless people?

Yea, not for a while though.

Would you rather listen to songs with really beautiful, meaningful lyrics? Or songs that are extremely catchy?

It's ghey but 'really beautiful, meaningul lyrics!' Extremely catchy songs diiiiiiie easily for me.

Have you ever had someone spread an awful rumor about you?

I barely care bout demz.

What time did you go to sleep last night and why?

Like 11 because it was a long friggin day.

Have you recently had plans with someone and they canceled?

Other way around CONSTANTLY and I'm sorry to anybody. I make up for it in the long run.

Does it snow where you live?

Yo guy I'm diggin the snow atm.

What does your phone do when you get a new message?

Lights up and shows a second of the message.

What are you excited for?

I don't have anything I'm waiting on atm, what in the world?!

Do you know anyone that has been in rehab?

Apparently?

Have you ever liked someone older than you?

Yes.

Do you know your best friend's middle name?

Ross lmao.

What woke you up today?

It was time.

Have you done anything embarrassing today?

I left my house angry and then had to re-enter cause I forgot my phone.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?

I haven't had any brag-worthy cases, but sure.

When was the last time you were extremely disappointed?

Word about Calderone's closing :(

Are you a bad influence?

I really think I am.

Have you ever kissed someone that was high?

It's gross but yuh. But not as many times as you'd think!

What is on your bed right now?

Just me, this laptop, 3 blankets, and 2 pillows.

Do you have any strange phobias?

Sometimes I'm afraid of toilets.

So tell me about your last New Years?

So the one that just passed...I died.

Have you kissed someone in the past week?

Wilma never gets it in.

When was the last time you saw your grandpa?

gr 8. Wooooow.

Have you lost friends in the past 3 years?

I guess a few. Gained if anything.

What's your plans for tomorrow?

Have to call work to confirm floater shift first. But mom wants to bake macaroons. Then I'll chill.

Does the last person you texted smoke?

Don't all my friends but me smoke.

Are you one of those people who hate crying in front of others?

I am a fan of dramatic scenes and tears! I wonder what would happen if I cried infront of people. I can't cry to people, it's never natural.

Are you happier now or three months ago?

Surely I'm happier now. Yea guy, 3 mnths ago was death.

Is there that one guy/girl that you'll always have feelings for no matter what?

My mom taught me how to not believe in that crap. It's nice to think so, but life shouldn't be filled with cages. I dot believe in that. The only reason why you stay in my head is because you killed me so hard and I am plotting your death.

Do you like winter time?

SNOWSHINES ARE MY FAVOURITE WEATHER!

Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette?

ee-zee.

Were you intoxicated the last time you threw up?

You'd all be surprised to hear no! After Pizza Hut I kept burp gagging like mad.

Do you tend to make things complicated?

I bet I do. I know I'm a headache.

Do you like to hold hands?

No. Sweaty palms are weird. I link arms cause I like pillows and my pops.

Have you spoke to any of your ex's today?

Naaah.

Do you want any ex back?

Boo.

Do you miss your past?

It really seems like it. Partially yea, but in the long run NON!

Have you ever talked on the phone in the shower/bathtub?

I've always wanted to bubble bath talk.

Do you just want to yell in someone's face right now?

That's rude.

Do you like anyone?

Hard to say.

Ever been so drunk someone else had to carry you?

Life.

Do you hate anyone?

How about everybody? JK!

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?

Who da?

Did you dance today?

The day wouldn't be complete.

Do you drink more apple or orange juice?

OJ.

Was this summer a good one?

June July was retarded. August had really good but really few moments.

You kissed someone today, didn't you?

Raniel deserves kisses for dealing with my sweat in TWO debuts.

Do you want to see somebody right now?

Not really. Well maybe.

Do you prefer the ocean or pool?

Bath tub.

Do you currently like someone who doesn't know you exist?

Who doesn't know that I exist?

Do you have any bruises?

LOL yeeea.

What are you doing for your birthday?

I will be hosting a retarded dinner party fancy house jam. NO CUPS, ONLY STRAWS!

Have you seen a real bat up close before?

Not up close.

Have you gone through more than five different favorite colors in your life?

I had a rainbow phase for 3 years and have liked 4 different shades of pink.

Are your eyebrows the same colour as your hair?

I try.

Would you rather have eyebrows that are too thick or almost no eyebrows at all?

THICK THICK THICK

Are any of the members in your favorite band blood-related to each other in any way?

Not as far as I know.

Have you ever asked your parents about their previous romantic relationships?

yea. My mom has funny ones. My dad has a sad one.

I don't think Zac Efron is that hot. Do you?

He used to rock my world. Rocks my bed now.

Do you keep in touch with your cousins?

No, I feel bad.

Are you allowed to wear flip-flops to school?

Lol school.

Does your cell phone have a camera? Does it have a music player as well?

Yes. Barely use either.

Do you still dress the same as you did 3 years ago?

Oh helllllllllz no.

What teh hay

I've been listening to Cudi's Prayer and Kanye's Runaway, every night since Friday while tucked under three blankets to ask myself how was my day.

Deal breakers sounds like jaw breakers but really just reminds me of heartbreakers.

There are many strange things that I do. I hope to make someone wonder.

I cherish my free days. I'm a fan of Me days. These days are seriously once every 3 weeks.

I know how to delight.

Being extra makes me feel shielded and incapable of of even givin a fcuk bout what y'all could think.

Addicted to them hoodrats

Monday was bright and insightful. I breathed in minimal fresh air and took in times that had been rediscovered. I want to surround myself with days like these more often. I'm saying bye to all of those that I juggled and will forever take for granted or just never gain. As long as the sun shines through the dashboard and a good time is brought up at any location, I'm sure I'll be okay. We'll make more days like these to get ready for the real world and to take action. I'm sure you'll all manage without me. I wonder how well I'll do?

I think I need to socialize

If my smiles aren't as big as before, my clothing palette lacks colour, or if I act out like a 7 year old...if my voice sounds mouseier, or my appetite seems smaller...if my tweets sound like ultimatums, my responses take longer, or I spend longer minuets in the washroom...if I don't spend my money, don't seem well kept, or want some sort of fix...if it seems that I've lost my love for walking around, my eyes seem either puffy or drooped...

I don't mean to worry. I just don't feel as on top. I wish I knew what was bugging me. Or at least knew how to get better. Picturing something makes it so. I will be okay. I will be okay.

My dream is to be asked the simplest of questions and be able to truthfully answer without feeling foolish, restricted, or ignored.

I'm giving it my all but...

It's not the mountains of the clothes or the lack of the closet space. It can't be that I'm not in school or that I work almost everyday without knowing if I'm part time or full time. It shouldn't be the fact that I have to surrender every paycheque to a university that I only attended for half a semester. It surely isn't the need for a room renovation or the getting rid of the picture collage closet boarder. It's surprisingly not that I'm always traveling alone and only socialize with the same 5 people. There are positive sides to each of these factors that control my life and I see them all, within time I'll meet them all. It really is just me.

Condolences

Calderone's is closing at the end of the month, too dumbfounded to write a whole blog about it. But now I know how Meg Ryan felt when her mom's bookstore was run down. And now I know how much this routine meant to me. I won't know any place as soothing as Calderone's. I'll make sympathy cards for my soon-to-be former co-workers.