Will you just hold me tight and never let me go

Maybe it was cause I had no sleep two days prior, or that it was my time of the month. I thought I had it covered but not at all. Broke down when I was supposed to be getting lifted. I don't want to admit anything to your name and that's why I can't leave. Watching Phin and Ferb isn't the same. There won't be a teepee waiting for anyone. I've been blaming you for everything that should be in my control. How dare you dance around my sub-conscious. Every memory lets you point and laugh at the battered. It was those little hands that I never got to touch. And how this is everything I pictured summer to be. Minus the reward. This is everything you wanted me to feel. Have the waterfall of tears.

I've come home to worse than this

I live in the past. That's why I like being everywhere with you. You allow me to ask, "Remember when..." and then you swallow it whole because you feel that past too. Polar opposites to the core but one rice filled dartboard to string us together. That's why it turned me on when you kissed my hand. Remember when...9 years ago? On that first date, I don't think you could see through my sunglasses, but I saw your eyes. You smiled at me when we were silent laying in the grass. It reminded me of 9 years ago. But I told you something that day, and that's why I don't know what I'm doing.

Certainty

Set to sail without a clue of where to go. Been drifting for weeks. Had to get away. Floated into a brand new sea. It's calmer here, there's more to see here. You're keeping me afloat, you really are. But I still can't shake the sweats off from the last shark attack. Nestled in your arms on a pirate ship figures like a romance, but I slightly felt robbed. Was it really you that I was supposed to be with in this backdrop? I hid that day because I was uncertain. I leaped two days later because I was uncertain. I don't know when it was exactly, but I mastered the art of masking myself too.

Hollywood

Experiencing prom for a second time was more gratifying than last. I'm only a year older than the actual graduates of '11 but it still stitched my heart back together (even for just a night) to see the wonderful outcomes of these babies that I have somehow mothered at one point in my life. I could never thank my date enough for giving me the second chance at an endearing experience. I could never thank my date and his mom enough for the all access prom treatment. Watching how other people party is a new found enjoyment. Having a orchid corsage instead of a white rose on a band shows just how much my date gets me. You will do great things and your mannerisms will get you far. I've always wanted to visit Australia anyways.

Excerpts from a 4:16AM Monologue

Don’t reply anytime soon. Just know the power of your actions; neglect, suave, misinterpretations, empowerment, and those frikkin disappearances… Whether you meant to or not. Don’t do this to anyone else. It’s not you.

Bye Boot

P.S. there's a hidden soliloquy that the writer has been too embarrassed to ever publish, something big would have to happen for her to ever spit it out really.

Console

If I knew how to properly structure a sentence for it I'd say it's what I need most. I have three reasons for wearing sunglasses. It's silly but my cat really is my only friend now. I did want to stay outside, I really did. But the gravitational pulls tucked me back into bed.