POV

I am determined to contribute to the change of the plentiful and unbelievable imbalance of the world. I promise to do something.

Things to worry about:

school shit
making those university marks for a 85 average
applying for university
where am i gonna get this money for university?
what am i even taking for university?
abbey times
social committee
filipino club
morning prayers
loretto leaders
alice and wonderland
volunteer hours
volunteering with kids
tita la's daycare?
no sign of a boyfriend this year
xmas shopping
work
slow cash flow
gym
try going to the gym twice a week
gym takes out $50 each month
phone bill $60
actually my phones busted
eclass
eclass writers craft
prom
whos gonna be my prom date?
driving lessons, wth happened to those?
i don't shower enough and i bet it shows

My new problem:

Ever since I was told that my friend goes to SpEd because his brain can only focus on ONE thing at a time, I've taken on the habit. Well more so recently than before, but at times it'd hit me previously. If I'm in class and my face gestures actively towards the speaker or my pen begins to jot down a few notes, I'm not actually paying attention. Most likely I'm thinking of plans, ideas, dreams, images, songs, things to celebrate. This brain can no longer multi-task my own thoughts. Perhaps my brain capacity is too small, which is too sad now. Or maybe I'm just filled with too many thoughts, I like this point better. Or maybe I need to go to SpEd? My development is de-evolving, but I'm not stupid. I know I'm a clever girl. I just don't care about the same things they have to teach me every year.

Passion+Violence

Today I learnt about obsessions.

It's sad but it's cute apparently

Just like Catherin and Heathcliff, I always feel as if this childhood crush will never die out and always remain in its innocent tone no matter the adaptions and storms we face. I will forever hold this sweet tremor of youngster in my heart.

I'll see you soon

I promise you, you won't leave without my lips upon your cheek.

YOU JUST UPPED TO A FIFTEEN

Last night we were alive. We laughed and laughed at the funny things we say to make each other happy. We made one block journeys back and forth to satisfy our taste. We performed criminal actions in innocent scenes. We lounged with the Devil's food. We lived like it was last year.

HERES WHATS IN MY HEART!:

You and me. Winters clearly ending and it's warm. Taking it back to the rocks at the pond. No mind altering substances for anyone. This time I lay my head on your lap rather than my bag. This time I'm in a 'cute' dress and you're in your most Zac Efron-ish outfit. Our journey was made up of singing, the Questions Game, our first face-to-face heart-to-heart, adoring compliments, a trip down Memory Lane, and a lived out Troy and Gabriella sequence. Thank God for long lasting batteries in laptops which keep us entertained so we can make cover song videos for our YouTube account, share music with each other, DailyBooth it. On this rock we just lay with the peace of the water, the warmth of the sun on our faces, the ups and downs of our chests as we breathe like one, the thumping of two racing hearts, and our tiny-big hands finally in a clasp. Every love song we sing will be a sweet serenade. Every whisper we conjure will be for our own ears. Every smile we shine will be because of each other.

Do you have to let it linger?

Jay Leno means no.
Your name means yes.
If its pass 11 it means no.
On a Friday/Saturday/or Sunday...it means 4 hours later.
I'm too scared to try on MSN.
During school it's unpredictable, but usually a short one then no.
If I say 'Whatve you been up to?" it means no.
After we hang out it means we can't be normal again for a month.
When you become happy it means you can talk to me again.
When I say something first it means no.
When I need someone to talk to it means no.

Even with your bats-in-your-caves I say yes.
After your twin-ish me girlfriend I say yes.
Two empty summers and I say yes.
"So..." I'd say yes.
Gunk on the sides of your mouth and I say yes.
Ignore every me for 2 weeks and I say yes.
Not respond to my rant and I say yes.
Tell me about your lovers and I say yes.
Say things I hate and I say yes.
Look at me weird and I say yes.
Watch you pick boring clothes and I say yes.
Watch you sloppy eat and I say yes.
Walk with you while you give people weird looks and I say yes.
Boring questions and I say yes.
Blow me off the next week and I say yes.
Lack of interest in me and I say yes.

I'm close to accepting that I won't ever have you, but I'm too excited to see myself so happy when I do.

I just want to be hit by ten thousand trucks

I feel at a major loss. My shoulders are carrying boulders of harsh realities, loss of hope, bad habits, old habits, a broken heart. My creative flow has stopped. My inspiration has fled. And my belief in anything has been cut by the sharpest pair of scissors the devil could find. I'm just drifting.
I stayed in the washroom doing not much for a while longer than usual. I'm going back to that dirty habit. I used to do this in gr. 8. It's the warmest room in my house, the lighting is brighter, and I feel total privacy. This privacy could get dangerous. My deepest secrets and greatest fears have taken place in the bathroom.
You abandoned me and it all went down hill from there.
She's squished my opinions and hopes. I'm just doing things to get her approval now. Nothing for my own enjoyment.
I have to stop crying now so that I can go upstairs and watch tv.

Who let you down?

I bet it had to do with our week and her. It's worth the world for you to explain. I think, for you, and only you, I'd back down if I knew it killed you. I always thought that if the planets would align even the slightest bit, this would be our problem. And as everything was going as right as it could, you crawled away while I was peeking. I don't dig this back-and-forth-in-and-out-hide-and-seek game we play. Just come back. Please.